One Placemat

I cooked one of your favorite dinners tonight, but only half as much as when you were here. You know what it was because you watched me cook it. There was only one placemat in the drawer when I set the table. I miss your placemat.

Insights in a Purse

I cleaned out Renee's purse today. I discovered women tuck bits and pieces of their lives in there that reveal their souls. Two scraps of paper were carefully folded and neatly stored there revealing what I already knew about her. First and foremost, she loved lists. Most lists were kept in a basket, but this was a more private one - one she made realizing that her time was short. She wrote:

1. Well (I'm assuming that meant get well.)

2. friends/family

3. put life/projects in order/finish - sort out. (I think this one is the reason she hung in there and refused to go until she had no strength left.)

4. Painting/hobbies/stained glass.

5 Live a balanced life. (Her neurosurgeon asked her at one appointment if she was living a balanced life and that really struck her. She believed she was.)

6. Do something good/kind everyday.

The second piece was a quote by Charles Swindoll on attitude. It reads:

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company ... a church ... a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude ... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you ... we are in charge of our Attitudes."

Toothbrushes

There were two toothbrushes in the medicine cabinet last night but only one of us here to use them. I threw yours away, and mine was lonely. I threw it away so they would be together. My new toothbrush did not know yours and is not lonely. I hope God gave you a new one too.

Day One

Irene died yesterday. It was a peaceful passing in the end. She accepted the finality of her life and went quietly into that good night. I wondered how I would sleep the first night, but I did. For some reason I woke early (5:30), and started my day.

That first morning, the living room seemed large and expansive without the hospital bed and Irene in it. There was an obvious void that I knew would be there for a long time. After all, she had rested there for almost a month.

But, I know she is watching and caring for me and that some day we will reunite.

Her Influence

Irene influenced many lives. She had the uncanny ability to see the soul of an individual and understand that person's capability. She elevated many people through their careers and their beliefs in themselves.

(OK folks, your comments concerning how Irene impacted your life would be appreciated here.)

Our Wedding

We were married at the Sabylund Lutheran Church in Stockholm (some might say Lund) Wisconsin. It is a picturesque church built (I'm guessing) in the early to mid 1900's. It is a brick structure with a tall steeple situated at the end of a tree lined lane, a fairy book picture which I will always remember.

I wrote our wedding vows. Sorry, but the English major in me came out.

Our Statement

I stand before God, my loved ones,

and friends clothes in the purity

of your lvoe.

This ring exchanged, signifying

my bond with you throughout

eternity.

Yet, I am and you are. We will

grow separately; though stand

together. Visibly spaced as two

trees in the forest, but our roots

entwine;

creating a firm foundation to face

the storm.

Two halves have no choice but to

join, and yes, they do make a whole.

But when two wholes collide;

that is beauty.

That is love.

And so our two trees stood apart. We each had our own lives. Yet our roots were intertwined. And even though Irene's tree has been cut down our roots remain intertwined and her life continues to influence mine.

The Beginning

We met in Louisville, KY at a mortgage banking seminar in June of 1982. She lived in Minneapolis and I was in Findlay, OH. As chance would have it, I was scheduled to attend a convention in Minneapolis later in June, and I wangled her contact information from her. While in Minneapolis, I wined & dined her, and she invited me to her parents home in Lake Pepin, WI for the Fourth of July. I accepted. Long story short, we were married October 9, 1982. (Ironically, twenty-six years later to the day she was diagnosed with cancer.)

Remembering Irene (8/13/1955 - 01/26/2011

The purpose of this blog is to remember Irene Mary-Pia Schollmeier Ware for the wonderful lady she is (as her spirit watches over us). It will ramble. It will not detail the 28 year plus some months love story we had together. (My cousin Margaret thinks I should write a modern day "Love Story" novel, but it is not going to happen. This is as good as it gets cousin!) It will discuss my feeling of loss. And will explore the impact she had on many lives. Holy buckets, have a grand day sweet lady!